Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Perils of Autumn

There are certain disadvantages to having the weather turn colder. Some of them are obvious, such as the fact that you have to find jackets and hats before leaving the house, the slow decrease in grilling opportunities, and the onset of the basketball season. Others, though, are a bit more subtle.

The "Summer Door" has closed, much to the consternation of Tria, our black cat. Mithra - the grey one - is pretty much okay with being inside, but Tria regards the indoors as a form of penance for whatever kitty sins she has committed and would prefer not to be reminded of. There is always a period of adjustment when the Summer Door goes away and the Winter Door takes its place - she'll race to the door and demand to be let out, and then you can just see the disappointment and consternation ripple across her as the cold, harsh reality of Not Summer curls her whiskers and frosts her tail and she races back into the Warm. Cold weather is hard on Tria.

And because of that, it is hard on us.

You see, when the weather gets colder, Tria spends more time indoors. And those indoors are just that much more "indoors" than they usually are, what with the windows tightly shut and all. So you end up with Tria in a relatively airtight environment. Which wouldn't be such a problem except that she is the most flatulent cat I have ever owned.

Yesterday she rendered the living room completely uninhabitable for almost half an hour, which is fairly impressive given her relative size. She is the ninja master of such things.

Maybe it's just revenge.

She's subtle about it too, in that sneaky feline way that dogs and most guys never quite grasp. You get no "Force-10 Pantsbusters" from her. You can't hear anything at all. If it didn't happen so constantly, you might think it entirely coincidental that shortly after she appears the plants die, the new windows bow outward from the pressure, your eyes water like it's final exam day at the onion-cutting academy, and the paint falls off the walls in foot-wide strips. She'd certainly like you to think so.

Honestly, it's like living with a 10lb frat boy.

Perhaps I should go back to the auto parts store and get more air fresheners.

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